Anyone venturing into the world of nonmonogamy will need to spend some time focusing on their profile. This is the first impressing many people will have of you as they seek and find potential connections. I can tell you that as of this entry there are many different ways to make and find connections, various websites and apps. I can’t tell you which is best, it’s all about personal preference and what the majority of other peeps in your area are using. The gold standard used to be SwingLifestyle.com but the old-school feeling of the site doesn’t seem to fit the newer technology age and many are starting to navigate away. For us personally, it’s still proving to be the best source for finding those random people in the wild, outside of meeting them in person.
Focusing on the websites and apps you will need two important items, information about yourself and photos.
Let’s start with profile photos, many times the first impression someone will have of you. They should be current, clear and comfortable. Most people aren’t comfortable putting their faces out there publicly, which is 100% A-O-K, BUT, make sure what you are presenting publicly give the searching party something to start with. You’ll see a lot of headless torsos in the mix, which is a great way to present yourself without revealing yourself. Others like to blur or black out faces which is another options. Just remember, especially if the site or app you’re using is swipe based, a bad profile photo will most likely cause a quick swipe and not the initial pause you’re in hopes of.
Most sites allow for photos to be shared with those you personally select, or match with, also known as private photos. This is where you really should consider some face photos. Most people want to see your face, think about it… what will they most likely be looking at while you’re fucking each other? Go, on… I’ll give you a moment… EXACTLY, your face! Admit it or not, there is a level of attraction necessary for most of us to even consider moving forward with this. Some of us have size preferences, age requirements, even racial preferences. If I get a message from someone who claims they opened their photos and there’s still no face photo, 9 times out of 10 I’m not responding. I need to know I’ll be able to look at you while you’re on top of me before I consider spending my time getting to know you and your preferences. Yes that’s shallow, but it’s true. Accept it!
Make sure your photos are clear and current. It’s the 21st century, taking a selfie should be second nature. It’s also free and easy to take enough to ensure one of them is in focus and represents you. I’m so tired of pixelated photos or photos that I later learn are old. Keep them updated! I’m not saying weekly or even monthly, but they should represent who you really are. If you’ve lost weight, update the photos. If the COVID 20 was more like 40 or 50, update the photos. If you’ve changed your hair color, fixed your nose or changed your boobs, you got it, update your photos! If you created your profile when you were 25 and now you’re 40… well I sure hope you’ve updated your photos.