“I’ll let you in on a little secret: I don’t actually wear perfume. It’s a metaphor for the quiet confidence of knowing exactly who you are, and the private side of yourself that you only share with the right people.”
Let me start with a confession: I don’t actually wear perfume.
I know, I know—it’s right there in the title of the site. But for me, “perfume” has never been about the liquid in the glass bottle. It’s a metaphor. It’s about the vibe you leave behind when you exit a room, the quiet confidence of knowing exactly who you are, and the private side of yourself that you only share with the right people.
If I had to describe myself honestly? I am, at my core, a proudly vanilla suburban woman with a hint of spice.
By day, I am an elementary school aide. My world is filled with the beautiful, exhausting chaos of keeping kids on track, navigating the grocery store gauntlet, and managing a household. I am normal. I am chill. I love my routines.
But when the school bell rings and the daytime responsibilities fade, I also live an incredibly fulfilling, ethically nonmonogamous life.
I’ve been navigating the lifestyle since 2012. Back then, there were no roadmaps for how to be a dependable professional and partner while exploring this kind of freedom. I had to learn the art of the “Digital Handshake,” the necessity of the 20-Mile Rule, and the absolute beauty of a “Zero Secrets” policy through trial, error, and a lot of awkward coffee dates.
I created Pineapples and Perfume because the ENM world is flooded with blogs that make the lifestyle look like a 24/7, high-stakes party. That is exhausting—and it’s not reality for most of us. I wanted to create a space for the ethically curious who just want to know how to balance their everyday normal with their private adventures.
What I Actually Wear (Instead of Perfume):
- The Scent of Specialty Coffee: I survive the week on great roasts. You will almost always find me brewing something from Thread Coffee Roasters, Black & White, or Onyx.
- Yarn Fuzz: When I need a total mental reset, I crochet. Amigurumi is my meditation. There is nothing like turning a ball of yarn into a tiny creature to help you unplug.
- Sea Salt: Travel is my ultimate escape. Whether it’s a quiet getaway or a big group trip, the horizon of the ocean from the deck of a cruise ship is where I do my best reflecting.
Whether you are here for the vetting advice, the suburban survival stories, or just to read about how to sprinkle a little spice into a vanilla life, I am so glad you’re here.
Take a look around, read the “Top Notes,” and remember to go without expectations and be open to opportunities.